Monday, March 23, 2009

Scattered Thoughts

Well I'm really tired right now but for some reason i have the urge to write. So i will. Today is March 23, 2009. Today i was grateful for the blog i wrote yesterday. It kinda helped me get back on a certain track and also help some people i know (Well from what they told me lol).

This morning i was super excited because i started the case manager portion of my job. Although they smacked me in the face with cases all the way from December : /, i was super excited because this is my life's work. This is a great step into what i want to do for some time in my life. Although its for Helen Keller so that means its about there eyes and ears, one day it will be about there home life, their reason to why there missing school, why are they fighting..etc. I'm just happy to have this opportunity to get my feet wet. I have my own desk, phone line extension lol, computer, email lol it made me feel a certain lol. I was excited for the most part, but like i said the girl who bounced definitely let me with a handful.

Today i also was reminded of the idea that you cant help people unless they want help. I have been through a lot and because of that, there are certain things that i will not tolerate to see others go through. Like it gets under my skin, for example the blog yesterday. I wrote that because someone close to me is living for everybody and not themselves. Now today i realized with that same person that sometimes you cant lend out a helping hand if they don't want to grab it. Yes sometimes people are scared, comfortable in there situations and they dont want it to change. But then sometimes they are crying out for help and want it to change. But how do you know if they dont clearly say "i need help" ? Who are you to make that decision? I felt like that today fr a little while, like maybe i over stepped my boundries, but then again i felt like i will not allow people around me to be in unhealthy situations. If they wont let me do it, i wont let them do it. I dont just made me so sick today. I started to think of the feeling i had when i was doing what they were doing, and how i knew i wasnt happy. I denied help during that time too, i acted like it was kool..but it wasnt and i was soo grateful that the people around me didnt give up. So i wont give up either....

And did anyone ever watch Degrassi? Remember Jimmy, the token black kid that got shot and is in a wheel chair (on the show). That kid is a rapper lmaooo. Like since when, I'm super late lmao my lil brother put me on. And you know he sounds actually almost good lol. So far gone is the name of his mix tape lol and i actually like it. Just wanted to share that because it made me laugh today who the hell does he think he is lmaooo

Anyway my eyes are drying out on me and i have to be up at seven..

laterzzz mundo

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