Monday, March 2, 2009
Dont Judge a book by its cover....
Hello there my people, Today is March 2, 2009. I have been beating my brain out trying to figure out how to write my blog today. So if i confuse you lol know that I'm sorry and i probably confused myself. But ill do my best lol.
Well today i was really in deep thought about judgment or more the act of judging someone. I know each and everyone of us has succumbed to this act weather we want to say we have or not..we have, deal with it. We live in a society where a stereotype is a judgment that lets us judge someone by the color of there skin or the clothes they wear...
This might seem surprising coming from me but i want the word judgement or judge to be out of my vocabulary completely. i know things don't happen over night but im going to commit myself to try and get rid of this action and word for real. I spent all day temping in an office where hey had me stuffing like 3000 envelopes, and during this time i couldn't figure out why the hell do people judge or why do we judge ourselves. Where does this idea, action, word come from? I wanted to understand the origin to understand how to get rid of it. This weekend i spent the night in my great friend Sonia's house but right before i did that i drove around in a car with Thierry (another friend). Thierry is apart of the dance company Sonia has been working on called Urban Dance Alliance. I took the time out with him to take a ride to Queens and back and it was one of the best things i did that weekend. We sat in the car and spoke about the company. At one point we talked about the state of the company and why it was like that. Immediately it came down, of course, to the people in it. Now if anyone from the outside looking in got one glimpse they would think UDA was a pack of loonies that can really really dance lol. They definitely are a really colorful group with many characters but they consider each other the closes family they will ever have. They are ride or die for each other no matter what. I am not apart of UDA but spent some time here and there and did what i now regret doing, but i judged them. I asked thierry why must they act like that sometimes, why the fighting , why the lack of communication, there so talented. He simply explained to me that these dancers are very talented and could dance behind beyonce and out shine her any day but they come from broken homes, some have crackheads for mothers, no fathers, foster kids, rejected by there family because of their sexuality and the list goes on. He said, they grow up in all the negativity and even when they find something that they love and are passionate for they cant let go of the bullshit that runs in there everyday lives when they are at practice. How can you judge them when you don't know?I thought about that and felt like damn...hes right. How could i have done that without knowing. In court, the judge makes a judgement after hearing hours and days of evidence. How can us as people do the same in only one look. I started to think about how much i hated when people would say i thought you were bitch. They judged me by the look i had on my face when i walked around campus or something they saw me do once or something they heard from someone else. No good solid evidence basically. I of course have been guilty of doing the same to others, and only today after all these thoughts did it disgust me.
Now i thought long and hard about where does this come from. And after thinking about it all day i figured it out for me. Now I'm not saying this is the solution for everyone, but as far as me i think this was the problem and this can be apart of my solution. For me i think knowing myself completely. For me judgment was apart of my ignorance of self and situations around me. Clearly before this transition in my life, i lived like everything was fine, when clearly for a long time it hasn't been. I grew up and have lived with alot of anger, insecurities and confidence issues and i used those to feed the judgments of people around me. By the first angry look i gave people i had them set in my mind. I even took judgments on myself very harshly, wondering why i am the same age as this person and not doing what there doing, putting myself on a level system with people who are not even like me in any way. Lately i have been realizing so much about myself in every part of my life, and this has left me with no time to judge others. I have been extremely busy learning who Ashley is and why , it has left me nothing but feelings of positivity. To me Judgments come from negativity, ignorance and not knowing. Knowing the reality of my own road has taken away the ignorance that i have when it came down to understanding others struggles. If i didn't even understand mine how can i even attempt to regard theres. Along with knowing yourself comes the great characteristics of compassion and humbleness. Well for me it has, when i judged it was like i didn't care or have respect for that person because i was soo much better. Who the hell did i think i was, up until 3 weeks ago i was a step away from being the president of shamble city. Really taking a real deep look into myself has brought me back down to earth where everyone is on a bumpy road about to fall off, why should i or anyone else be the one to push them.
Right now i am pledging to myself that i will not try as a matter a fact i just don't want to judge. I think its soo ugly and shows weakness withing yourself and the ignorance u have to not see past things you hear or see. I want to start worrying about how i can be better and then how i can help the next person. I know it might seem very hard but i am very strong and adamant about the things i want in my life right now. Positivity is one so judgment has to go. And why do something to others that i don't want done to me. So many people I've met have been astonished to realize that i am a cool person lol, they spent to much time judging me how ironic lol, but sometimes i did give that stink face (that's a whole new blog) lol. But anyway this is something I'm doing for me and if you feel the same feel free to tell me about it. I really believe that once people just humble themselves and know who they are they wont need to judge but learn to respect another human for being human first before they give them a label.
We are extremely harsh on each other and if we all stopped being insecure, and took time to really learn ourselves, respect ourselves, we would realize that we are all going thru the same struggle. Some of us more than others. Instead of judging try and ask questions or help someone realize there worth instead of taking it from them.
The saying goes don't judge a book by its cover, but at the same time make sure you know own book very well.....
March 2nd, March for Gratitude
Today i am Grateful for my period lol...I'm not going to explain that one lol...just know I'm grateful for it...
Posted by Anonymously_30 at 7:40 PM