Monday, March 2, 2009

Dont Judge a book by its cover....

Hello there my people, Today is March 2, 2009. I have been beating my brain out trying to figure out how to write my blog today. So if i confuse you lol know that I'm sorry and i probably confused myself. But ill do my best lol.

Well today i was really in deep thought about judgment or more the act of judging someone. I know each and everyone of us has succumbed to this act weather we want to say we have or not..we have, deal with it. We live in a society where a stereotype is a judgment that lets us judge someone by the color of there skin or the clothes they wear...

This might seem surprising coming from me but i want the word judgement or judge to be out of my vocabulary completely. i know things don't happen over night but im going to commit myself to try and get rid of this action and word for real. I spent all day temping in an office where hey had me stuffing like 3000 envelopes, and during this time i couldn't figure out why the hell do people judge or why do we judge ourselves. Where does this idea, action, word come from? I wanted to understand the origin to understand how to get rid of it. This weekend i spent the night in my great friend Sonia's house but right before i did that i drove around in a car with Thierry (another friend). Thierry is apart of the dance company Sonia has been working on called Urban Dance Alliance. I took the time out with him to take a ride to Queens and back and it was one of the best things i did that weekend. We sat in the car and spoke about the company. At one point we talked about the state of the company and why it was like that. Immediately it came down, of course, to the people in it. Now if anyone from the outside looking in got one glimpse they would think UDA was a pack of loonies that can really really dance lol. They definitely are a really colorful group with many characters but they consider each other the closes family they will ever have. They are ride or die for each other no matter what. I am not apart of UDA but spent some time here and there and did what i now regret doing, but i judged them. I asked thierry why must they act like that sometimes, why the fighting , why the lack of communication, there so talented. He simply explained to me that these dancers are very talented and could dance behind beyonce and out shine her any day but they come from broken homes, some have crackheads for mothers, no fathers, foster kids, rejected by there family because of their sexuality and the list goes on. He said, they grow up in all the negativity and even when they find something that they love and are passionate for they cant let go of the bullshit that runs in there everyday lives when they are at practice. How can you judge them when you don't know?I thought about that and felt like damn...hes right. How could i have done that without knowing. In court, the judge makes a judgement after hearing hours and days of evidence. How can us as people do the same in only one look. I started to think about how much i hated when people would say i thought you were bitch. They judged me by the look i had on my face when i walked around campus or something they saw me do once or something they heard from someone else. No good solid evidence basically. I of course have been guilty of doing the same to others, and only today after all these thoughts did it disgust me.

Now i thought long and hard about where does this come from. And after thinking about it all day i figured it out for me. Now I'm not saying this is the solution for everyone, but as far as me i think this was the problem and this can be apart of my solution. For me i think knowing myself completely. For me judgment was apart of my ignorance of self and situations around me. Clearly before this transition in my life, i lived like everything was fine, when clearly for a long time it hasn't been. I grew up and have lived with alot of anger, insecurities and confidence issues and i used those to feed the judgments of people around me. By the first angry look i gave people i had them set in my mind. I even took judgments on myself very harshly, wondering why i am the same age as this person and not doing what there doing, putting myself on a level system with people who are not even like me in any way. Lately i have been realizing so much about myself in every part of my life, and this has left me with no time to judge others. I have been extremely busy learning who Ashley is and why , it has left me nothing but feelings of positivity. To me Judgments come from negativity, ignorance and not knowing. Knowing the reality of my own road has taken away the ignorance that i have when it came down to understanding others struggles. If i didn't even understand mine how can i even attempt to regard theres. Along with knowing yourself comes the great characteristics of compassion and humbleness. Well for me it has, when i judged it was like i didn't care or have respect for that person because i was soo much better. Who the hell did i think i was, up until 3 weeks ago i was a step away from being the president of shamble city. Really taking a real deep look into myself has brought me back down to earth where everyone is on a bumpy road about to fall off, why should i or anyone else be the one to push them.

Right now i am pledging to myself that i will not try as a matter a fact i just don't want to judge. I think its soo ugly and shows weakness withing yourself and the ignorance u have to not see past things you hear or see. I want to start worrying about how i can be better and then how i can help the next person. I know it might seem very hard but i am very strong and adamant about the things i want in my life right now. Positivity is one so judgment has to go. And why do something to others that i don't want done to me. So many people I've met have been astonished to realize that i am a cool person lol, they spent to much time judging me how ironic lol, but sometimes i did give that stink face (that's a whole new blog) lol. But anyway this is something I'm doing for me and if you feel the same feel free to tell me about it. I really believe that once people just humble themselves and know who they are they wont need to judge but learn to respect another human for being human first before they give them a label.

To Woman:
We are extremely harsh on each other and if we all stopped being insecure, and took time to really learn ourselves, respect ourselves, we would realize that we are all going thru the same struggle. Some of us more than others. Instead of judging try and ask questions or help someone realize there worth instead of taking it from them.

The saying goes don't judge a book by its cover, but at the same time make sure you know own book very well.....

March 2nd, March for Gratitude
Today i am Grateful for my period lol...I'm not going to explain that one lol...just know I'm grateful for it...

Laterzzz Mundo


  1. I had to take a deeeeeeeeepppppppppppppp breath after reading this one cus it was sooooo refreshing in every sense of the word... and i even laughed "President of Shamble City" lmao good one...but yea this one was specifically interesting to me because I for one do judge but I judge in another type of way or atleast for the most I try to do... I always judge people who seem like everything is A OKKKK...i wonder to myself what is that persons struggle are they soooo happy because they have been soooo miserable. I remember Angel saying once that people would not have even a clue alllll the things he's been through and alll the problems he has....He was like you know why: its cus i walk around this campus with a smile on my face....And unfortunately not for everyone its like that cus some people let their issues get the best of them. But yea judgement can really wreckon your thought process, your spirit, your over all well being...because unless its judgement that a person can use to better those things i mentioned above then its doing nothing but ruining that...So next time we think someone has it greatttt or not sooo great think about what it is you have!!!

    Peace & Love

  2. judgment is one of the many rights that no one has, but we all TAKE, and then make in every second of our lives. its a very hard thing to acknowledge, let alone try and ascend. so i am very proud of you lady for this one(of many) beautiful revelations on your road to transformation. with that said, i hope more people can realize just how much we separate ourselves based on these judgments. we think we know it all, when in reality we don't know shit. if we are so take a second to judge, perhaps we can take it a step further and ask...find out what makes a person before you label them. maybe then we can find similarities that outnumber these surface things that we use to separate ourselves. perhaps we could all be on a roan to transformation like Soleil over here lol


  3. I have been telling myself for days to check out your blog and after reading it today, I feel so relieved. Not just for you but for me. I am so PROUD of you. You writing down your feelings is also helping me undertsand you better but also helping me and my life. That night me, you and justine, cried our eyes out in front of Old Main brought a realization to me about our friendship and that I am not alone in this world. I knew we became friends for a reason and saw the commonalities in us, but at the same time I knew you were holding back a lot of anger whick made you come off mean a lot. I never held that against you, but it prevented me from talking to you about a lot of things or even wanting to be aroung you sometimes because i didnt want to hear your negative opinion. All in All I still love you and Ash you dont know how much your blog is truly motivating me. I understand you in more ways now than I ever did and feel like what you were going through before is now what I am going through and I really dont want to go to that dark place, but more and more things are making me mad. I never had a problem expressing myself and in fact love to talk about my problems because I felt it help me, but recently I hold in a lot. I dont know why, but I feel like I have opened my eyes to the ugly truth revealing my parents, my family, friends and life itself and it just makes me so mad. Growing up I was partly sheltered and lied to so I was very naive, now everything i was exposed to is affecting me horribly. I dont wanna be around my closest friends anymore or talk to them and the things that you used to make me happy frustrate me. I too have a little brother who i think about more than myself and all i do is try to protect him and make him understand so he wont become so enclosed and distance. Anyway I am rambling on but maybe i will start a blog, but I am really trying to find my happiness again, and i thank you for what you are doing. Love you.

  4. ASH omg im so happy and proud of you. im honored to be apart of this and you have and continue to come a long way. WE HERE baby!!!!

  5. Absolutely Love this piece... It shows the evolution of you and I am so proud of you. Reflect on what we have to gain and what we leave behind. A book is merely judged by the cover we put on it not by the one that's on it. Keep up the great work!