Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Miss Softy

Ello Ello people so today is December 2,2009. Hope everyone day is going well..soo today I did a home visit to assess a new client on my case load and was so mentally, emotionally an physically drained. Like wow. And he wasn't like woe is me but his Story alone was pretty heavy. It really made me wonder like am I completely ready for this line of work? Should I be completely emotionally and mentally healed before I try to help the next person? As a friend of mine would say.." Idk man". Anyway I don't want to dwell on that right now. I believe only thru continuing to experience this job will I know for sure where I am supposed to be as far social work.

I wanted to discuss how the simplest things make me happy. This topic came to me while shopping for Xmas gifts online. I have 5 nieces( one is 20 she won't be getting a gift..well maybe a gift card) an 2 nephews. Then my younger brother and my puppy Apollo. Since I adore and cherish them ( n since were in a recession) I decided they are the only ones getting gifts. Mom n Dad too but every other family member could go kick rocks. So I'm shopping on amazon and spend 197 on one niece and my brother. And I'm like WTF, I feel like a card with a nice message would put a smile on my face. And I started thinking. I am one of the most simple individuals to buy a gift for and other things when I come to think about it. Clearly my life isn't simple at all lol but gongs that make me happy are. I enjoy gifts that are handmade, that come with a story as to why they were given to me. I don't need the most expensive thing or the brand name whatever..I just need to know that I was thought about when it came down to it.

So I said this to someone and they said "really..doesn't seem like your personality to like the simple things in life". And to be honest I wasn't surprised at all. I do come off a lil harsher than a hug lol..started thinking about why I don't allow my soft side to be seen? What stops me?! I spend alot of time being hard core, keeping a wall up.. Honestly lately I've been doing a better job at allowing myself to just be. I've realized how completely unconscious it is for me. Before I know it I'm protecting myself by not allowing any one in. I don't need to get into the reason for protection, I know that reason I'm just in the process of growing from there and showing the world how satisfied I am with just a great hug or a good reflective convo. I have to stop being afraid to be vulnerable to a certain extent.

I guess all in all I'm saying I am a complete softy and enjoy the simplest things in life. I'm a simple girl I guess lol idk.

Hasta Luego Blog world !!! Happy Holidays !!

1 comment:

  1. you're not as harsh as you think you are.. you do say whatever you want without thinking how it might even sound coming out.... that i must say.. but i think you are vulnerable to the people you feel most comfortable with and your harsh exterior is for the insignificant people in your life..

    like i can say that you dont have that harsh exterior towards me.. u kno i'll get in that ass!!lol love ya