Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Deeper Healing

Today is October 10,2010. Yes 10-10-10..lucky day apparently. For me the date has had nothing to do with how beautiful it was or even how amazing the past week has been. On Tuesday October 5th,2010 I re dedicated my life to ME.

During this week ending I dedicated a couple things to me..I took some long walks by myself..I observed my surroundings and took them all in. I practiced communication and I practiced following and living from my heart. One of my dedications this week was patience;let the world lead..let my path guide me..explore every second minute and hour..stop rushing. Realize things take time. I have always struggled with this, putting a time line on my life,forcing myself to go with the flow I invented instead of the flow of what the universe has out there for me. I really tried to let go and live in the moment this week. No more rushing, forcing..just feeling and living. I also dedicated music to myself. I opened up my i tunes on Friday and it seemed like a slight film was lifted off my eyes. The music brought me back to times in my life that reminded me of how far I've also reminded of the many good times. So many emotions from the music, but all positive!! I loved it. Idk why i was running from music but I'm glad i came back.

This weekend i also decided to start working on something else i dedicated myself to which was my faith; spiritual faith. I was raised Catholic, baptized, communion and confirmed in that faith.Over the years while reading and learning about other religions and science my faith in the man called "GOD" was weakened. I have more belief in positive and negative energies and the universe. Be that as it may on Sunday i went to church. And for those who know me know that that's like NUTS. I haven't been to church since i did my confirmation and i did that when i was 14 years old.I am 24 years old, so walking into church for me today was very awkward. LOL i walked in and mass had started already. I sat down and honestly didn't know what to do, the entire mass they were standing up and sitting down, singing hym's and so on. The only prayer i knew was the Our Father. The entire time i really didn't understand why i was even there. I already know what it is i believe in, i find it very uncomfortable to talk about another energy on this planet as "GOD" but yet i was there. Until the father read from the gospel i didn't know why i was there. He read something about god healing 10 people who had leprosy and only 1 came back to say thanks. The father explained the gospel and then brought it everyday life 2010. He went on to explaining that the main who came to show gratitude came because he saw he was healed physically of the leprosy as well as healed inside emotionally. He called it a "deeper healing". Once he said that i knew EXACTLY why i was there. I was there because i need a DEEPER HEALING. In the past year and a half i have worked on healing myself physically and mostly emotionally. Working on bringing my confidence back to par, learning to forgive and move forward. Basically fixing all the wounds from relationships of the past and wounds from moments in my life that left their impact on me. I haven't healed myself spiritually, i haven't worked on my soul, and for me that's what the father meant as a deeper healing. I spent time working on my emotional state now i need to work on my state as a person with a warm heart and soul. I need to go deeper. I need to have faith in me and the people around me. I need to work on having gratitude, i want to say please and thank you more often. Smile more and say good morning, good afternoon and good night. Church today gave me that. It gave me a piece of mind that even if i was home alone in silence i wouldn't be able to get. I was able to think and decipher what i needed to do. I guess when i walked in i was too focused on the religious aspect of it, and less on the message it can give you. I am going to try my best to go every Sunday to just listen and think. Get some peace in my soul. Really quickly i would like to say i know the Catholic church can get people angry with some of the things they do, even i have been pretty upset with them and tried to find another form of religion, Even going as far as going to a Buddhist meeting (btw Buddhism is a philosophy more than a religion so you can be both catholic and believe in Buddhism). Anyway i say that because i walked into mass today and the energy was amazing, people were allowed to come as they are and i didn't feel not one moment of negative energy or judgement at felt amazing! I saw something very funny actually lol after we were done giving peace to each other (in catholic church that's when people shake hands and throw up the peace sign to people around them) a women took out hand sanitizer and passed it down her whole row made me laugh lol.

Before i want to end i want to say that communication and compromise are what make relationships work. COMMUNICATION IS KEY!!! It has worked wonders for my situation and i hope it continues to help it strive and become better <3

It was a beautiful week...

BTW I clearly wrote this blog on Sunday, sorry for the late posting : /

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